the INTERNment CAMP

2005-09-16T18:58:00.000-05:00

You guys suck at this blog.

everything sounds like coldplay now

2005-09-07T09:09:00.000-05:00

I am so hungry.

2005-08-25T18:27:00.000-05:00

Q: What do you eat when you have no money and you're camped out at your boyfriend's (empty, he's in Augusta) apartment so you can use the internet?

A: Beer. It's what's for dinner.

Labor Day is coming up and if you want to get me a present,

2005-08-17T11:30:00.000-05:00

I'll take one of these really scary fake babies

Thanks guys! I also like compact discs and Golden Girls paraphernalia.

Love,

Kate

From a link a friend sent to me...

2005-08-15T08:18:00.000-05:00

...so disturbing, yet so hilarious.
Such is life.

Your Mama

...

2005-08-09T09:13:00.000-05:00

This is probably distasteful, but I can think of no better example of the perseverance of mediocrity...

http://www.cnn.com/2005/SHOWBIZ/Music/08/09/cohn.shot/index.html

Appetite for...that's right, DESTRUCTION!!!!

2005-08-08T12:54:00.000-05:00

I'm not entirely sure what is so compelling about you, a dirty 120-lb man ripping apart steel and wood, but I do know this: I'm in love. Right now I'm watching you light your cigarette on a very hot, sparking piece of metal from inside the engine of your bulldozer, and it is utterly charming. Dirty man, how long will I watch you from this roof? Though I know we will never meet, Annihilator of Hearts, I do ask of you one thing--please charge that brick wall right there until it comes crashing down around you, the way the walls of my heart tumbled the day I first saw you break those windows, feral and untamed.

Jeff Mangum!!!!!!!!!!1111111

2005-08-03T10:12:00.000-05:00

Check it out, ya'll...he came out of reclusion for a night.

SUPeR FuN BIrTHdAY EXpOLsIoN EXtRAvAGANzA FOr CLAIRE!!!!!!!111111!!!!!!!1111111!!!!!!!

2005-07-29T09:23:00.000-05:00

Whoa. Yesterday was HOT.

Let's start with the work day: It was a quite day, just like any other. The sun beat down, the people on the phone were lunatics and the blogs were buzzing. but Oh! It was not as ordinary as it seemed. It became a day to go down in intern history once the party began. Steve choose it as the day to debut his state-of-the-art snow cone creator. Yes, the Lushies were rum-drenched in honor of a certain birthday girl [and Nate next week!]. Bottoms up at 12:14! Now that's what I call an office party.

More to come, can we expect some photo documentation???

2005-07-26T16:23:00.000-05:00

Google fight is so June.

Hello, AIM Fight

Internamazing!!!!!!!1111111

2005-07-26T12:59:00.000-05:00

--Our new logo--

Salsanator.com

2005-07-25T09:31:00.000-05:00

April has funny friends

OR

How we should all start eating salsa:

1. Pour salsa directly from jar into mouth, skipping tortilla chips.
2. Insert chips into mouth after letting the salsa sit for a second. This creates what we like to call "proper effect."
3. Chew all items in mouth until sufficiently mashed together.
4. Bring into gullet and from gullet, force through other pipes and tubes.
5. Eventually drop into stomach.
6. Disperse salsa into bloodstream via liver.
7. Avoid thinking about how you got salsa from stomach to liver.
8. From bloodstream, deliver salsa to key body nodes, including ankles, hips, big-bad-booty, biceps, and especially brain.
9. Regulate the flow of salsa to the brain carefully so as not to transform into Salsanto the Annihilator, the natural state of someone who has suffered Salsa-Berzerker Rage. Nature's way of saying "whoa."
10. Realize that you need more salsa.
11. Repeat.

!attention!

2005-07-22T16:23:00.000-05:00

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
July 22, 2005

Paste Magazine Marketing Department Announces D2D Day:
New Peer-to-Peer Music Sharing Will Begin On Monday July 25, 2005

Decatur, GA– The Marketing Department of Paste Magazine is pleased to announce the start of Desk-to-Desk (D2D) Day, a new type of peer-to-peer sharing that involves real personal interaction, as opposed to the digital alternative. Each Monday, all staff members and interns are invited to bring in a CD to share with others. CDs of all generations and genres will be passed from one desk to another and shared throughout the day.

“Good, I like CDs,” commented an intern. “You can’t use mp3 files like you can use CDs. I mean, I can listen to them, rip them, throw them on buildings, even use them as coasters! Might I recommend the latest Hootie and the Blowfish album? It makes a nice addition to any bar set!”

The idea for D2D Day arose from late night trip from the Bonnaroo Music & Arts Festival. After sharing their “Most Influential Albums” of high school and college, members of the Paste editorial and marketing teams found that they shared few influences. A few weeks later, the need for D2D Day was confirmed, when one Paste staff member was told that Weezer’s 2002 hit, “Hashpipe,” was “ancient.”

“It was very traumatizing,” she said. “I realized there was an entire generation of people who didn’t know ‘Buddy Holly’ was a Weezer song! And if The Green Album is ancient, that means that I’m ancient! I’m only 21!”

The necessity worsened when an intern was questioned about her classic rock music selections. Though she was not alive during the days of Led Zeppelin, she commented, “I don’t know, when I listen to it, I feel home.”

D2D Day will kick off on Monday July 25, 2005. The opening day theme will be “Gems of the Early 90s.” Employees and interns are encouraged to break out their parachute pants, Bedazzled vests, slap-bracelets, and bobos when making their CD selections.

####

If you would like to be included in the D2D Day program, please email Caren Kelleher at Caren@pastemagazine.com.

some supplemental links

2005-07-21T14:02:00.000-05:00

cHoMp iNc. (the inventors of pet candy)
chomp (a definition)
Chomp.com (all the best resources on the net)
Urban Dictionary/chomp (another defintion...dirtier, though)
ChompChomp.com (Grammar Bytes!)
Chomp.org (Community Hospital of the Monterey Peninsula...I'm not making this up)
Chomp! (Chomp & the Temple of Puzzles)
CHomP (Computational Homology Program...again, impossible to make up)
Dictionary.com/chomp (one last definition)

2005-07-21T13:53:00.000-05:00

At the height of summer, the interns can be heard calling to each other, signaling the need to find ice cream. Most active in the afternoon, they are easily riled, though the cacaphony emerging from their roost belies their sedentary nature.

CHOMP. CHOMP. CHOMP. CHOMP.
TICKY TICKY DE MONG A NONG.
CHOMP. CHOMP. CHOMP. CHOMP.

2005-07-21T13:12:00.000-05:00

Fuck yeah. The thing I hate most about Athens is the hipster scene. Read about the decline of the hipster here:

LA Times

Arkansas

2005-07-20T21:22:00.000-05:00

Could the "Lord God" Bird be the "Long Gone" Bird?
I should be fired for that quip. I'm serious.

Oh yes, I just found this:

Trailer Crashers?

WTF?!?

2005-07-17T15:31:00.000-05:00

Was anyone else at the Weezer concert last night? Mother of god, I have never come away from a concert valuing my personal space more. After attempting to get a little closer to the stage [I couldn't even see it once during the whole ordeal] we were moshed against our consent and sweated/beered upon by big burly men. Then it rained big humid rain on us. GROSS. So we left during the Sweater Song, pulling the thread as we walked away . . . ..
I can't wait to do it again next Saturday!

Pedro

2005-07-14T22:24:00.000-05:00

Just wanted to be the first aboard the Paste train, wait, what the hell is a Paste train. Anyway, Pedro the Lion has a new acoustic demo up. See here:

www.pedrothelion.com

And, um, yes, he manages to use the word "vagina" in the first twenty seconds or so. Also, he manages to completely rip off "Barbara H" by Fountains of Wayne, Sufjan Stevens and "Sounds of Silence" throughout the rest.

test

2005-07-13T13:11:00.000-05:00

Why won't the blog work?

Totally Partisan

2005-07-13T10:47:00.000-05:00

Next week, Congress will vote on the Patriot Act--specifically, on making parts of the law set to expire permenant. I feel very strongly about this issue, and would urge you to find out how the Patriot Act threatens our civil liberties. Visit aclu.org to find out more and to get information on how to contact your congressman/men about this issue.

St. Augustine Speaks!

2005-07-13T10:38:00.000-05:00

This just in! St. Augustine Bear makes a public response to the recent verbal threats made against our furry friends by militant carnivores.

horrible thoughts

2005-07-11T13:13:00.000-05:00

ListenToTheFall: Mugison is kraZy!!!111
frogfacedotcom: isn't it rad?
ListenToTheFall: yessir
ListenToTheFall: i'm going to start telling people that i'm "sad as a truck"
ListenToTheFall: thanks, Mugison!
frogfacedotcom: it's like the bastard love child of a menage a trois between Damien Rice, Prince and Rammstein.
frogfacedotcom: or something
ListenToTheFall: Mu... Mugi... Mugison
ListenToTheFall: yeah
ListenToTheFall: and now i'm picturing some nasty action involving those three artists
ListenToTheFall: thanks a lot
frogfacedotcom: not a pretty sight, lots of purple faux-leather
ListenToTheFall: yeah, and i don't know if you've ever seen footage of Rammstein live, but there are bows shooting flaming arrows
ListenToTheFall: so that figures in somehow
frogfacedotcom: holy crap
frogfacedotcom: flaming dildos...of DOOOOM!!!!!
ListenToTheFall: hahahahaha
frogfacedotcom: get Claire to illustrate that for this next issue
frogfacedotcom: or just post it on the intern blog
ListenToTheFall: consider it done

Endangered Meat

2005-07-10T19:23:00.000-05:00

Endangered Meat

(You must watch the commercial!)

i am trying to break your heart

2005-07-08T23:55:00.000-05:00

12:40 AM
PALMER!
claire!
AUSTIN SAID YOU'RE HIS SLUT
not really
rjkkvmhjjn dic fb
hthgtYEESSS~!!!21123brdbghjkvbi
how was eddies attic
he's my bitch - get it straight
it was pretty cool
did you guys dinosaur juniorize?
um
no
there was a big wall made of beer and spinal tap blocking our passage to little 5 points
rjhghjhnhn
'YES!!223r45we#&%
so we tried to dig a hole to little 5 points instead of digging a hole to china
but we didnt reach either place
sefv2525tfftgtrwtshbrg
NO!!!!!!!2334566u78u7tyhy
Ex
THOUGHT BUBBLE
dude, you guys drunk typing is amazzing
we're not drunk how dar4e you
ndghn gjv
so that wall of beer drank itself
no it didnt, thats why we couldnt get to dinousar jr
it is intact
12:45 AM
big wall like the great wall of china that we didnt dig to
hahaha, ok, i understand, so really you are just oppressed
by the great wall of miller lite
SLASH BUD HEAVY JK
thatsa quote from jason killingsworth
drgvedthglj
FUNNY!!!!12213234R53J
dont be afraid
12:50 AM
dseddfsfcfgfTALKcdsrftgyhh!!!!!1q2w133456
WAKE UP PALMER
o delicate palmer
in the suburbs
whats in it for palmer?
htyhnhtj"
L?

This is fun for about 30 seconds.

2005-07-08T10:46:00.000-05:00

Prison Bitch!

Thanks, April.

This just in...

2005-07-01T09:34:00.000-05:00

Reading blogs is the new heroin.

2005-06-30T16:09:00.000-05:00

Supreme

2005-06-30T15:47:00.000-05:00

Bachelor, close to his mom, brings his own lunch to work -- we always suspected David Souter was the "emo justice." Now we know for sure:

While there is doubtless some demand for free Shakespeare, the evidence shows that substantive volume is a function of free access to copyrighted work. Users seeking Top 40 songs, for example, or the latest release by Modest Mouse, are certain to be far more numerous than those seeking a free Decameron.

Decameron... that's the new Connor Oberst side project, right? — WONKETTE

As seen on sub cards . . ...

2005-06-30T14:28:00.000-05:00

Tracks subscribers are a silly bunch.

The first sub card pulled from a box of approximately a gillion was from Italy! "Wow," I thought, "Italy is sweet!" Naturally, it John Paul the II was attempting to subscribe from the address of "5ft Under Basilica."

Three later, a student of the reputable "Bring Em Young Univ" by the name of M. Jackson expressed his desire to subscribe to Tracks. Obviously this is the magazine for him.

Will it ever end? Is this project doomed by fakers? Stay tuned . . . ...

Presenting...

2005-06-30T10:24:00.000-05:00

The intern Le Tigre cover band:

LE LIGER

interning like instant messaging

2005-06-28T22:01:00.000-05:00

The time is 11:04 p.m. It's been a long night at Paste. Some reflections:

On foodz...
amomentofpeace: mcdonalds will make you fat
amomentofpeace: so will little debbie that dirty slut

On instant message blog posts...
houchins99: can it be an opera usually only emoticons and javascript
houchins99: using not usually

On mental states...
ListenToTheFall: i think delirium has set in

On purchases...
SincerelyKKiefer: i bought a traffic light at a garage sale last weekend. and my mom might get a pet goat.

On noise...
aprilpaste: noise
aprilpaste: noise
aprilpaste: noise
aprilpaste: noise

That pretty much sums it up. Or, something.

Its a junk food bonanza!

2005-06-28T14:14:00.000-05:00

In case you were wondering....

Zebra Cakes trump Twinkies any day of the week, not just at deadline.

Hostess vs. Little Debbie

Zebra cakes, Cape Cod chips, and holla'in back...

2005-06-28T13:35:00.000-05:00

That's what deadline is all about.

I actually didn't have anything worthy to say in this post.

Mass Hysteria

2005-06-27T11:44:00.000-05:00

In addition to the madness that is deadline, it appears that several of the interns are having quarter-life crises. These recent graduates (myself included) worry about how they are going to support themselves, the career path they should take, marriage, the size of their butts, and what to eat for lunch, as well as the existence of God. What is a confused, impoverished twentysomething to do? No, really, we're asking.

WARNING: For your health

2005-06-24T14:26:00.000-05:00

BEWARE fellow Interns! Claire came to work today without Deodorant. And as the afternoon sun continues to shine brighter and hotter, the situation certainly won't get any better.
That is all.

Let the War begin!

2005-06-24T09:07:00.000-05:00

Though the internet may be 92% porn, this site proves the other 8% is violence.
Evidence: France beats Google in the only war it's ever won [though it's no schooling]
Evidence: In a fight at this office, we know who would win.
Evidence: Oh snap! It's a civil war!

I only speak in pictures

2005-06-23T16:06:00.000-05:00

Ya dig?

Nike rapes Minor Threat

2005-06-23T15:15:00.000-05:00

Hey kids. This is nuts. Yeah, this post is a little self-promoting, but oh well. You can go straight to Pitchfork to read the story if you want. Either way, it's unbelievable.

CAMPLIFIED!

2005-06-23T14:53:00.000-05:00

It is with deep regret I inform you that yes, I used to put on shows for one of the bands participating in this tour...

Camplified

I won't say which band, but it's not Gillian Wheeler or Zachary Allen. But you must check those two out. NOW!

Where's Kate Winslet when you need her?

2005-06-23T14:27:00.000-05:00

Just call me Palmer. Someone had to keep up on celebrity news. As such:

Leonardo got served!

I wish I was an actor so people could attack me with bottles...

All shall be forgotten...if someone buys this for me.

2005-06-23T14:22:00.000-05:00

You know what sucks?

2005-06-23T14:03:00.000-05:00

The fact that Nate found out about the blog, that's what. It was a nice effort guys, but I guess we have to share it with him now. Damn....

the hottest new band in the us underground!

2005-06-23T13:30:00.000-05:00

"my favorite thing is how when i play out at places, it makes me feel all happy."

tell him how you really feel

2005-06-23T11:08:00.000-05:00

a message to billy corgan from chicago

COMMODORE!

2005-06-23T08:37:00.000-05:00

After work yesterday, a few of us decided to spend some quality time with our town's namesake, Commodore Stephen Decatur.

...maybe a little TOO MUCH quality time...

A Milestone to Remember

2005-06-22T15:58:00.000-05:00

DECATUR, GA -- As of 4:26 p.m. this afternoon, Nicole Anderson officially acquired a Sufjan Stevens song, pushing her iTunes library past the 2000+ mark. The song, "Decatur, or, A Round of Applause for Your Stepmother" seems to have touched the lives of interns around the room today, and each had a very special story to share.
Awesome.com intern Austin feels a strong connection to the song, not only because of his current location, but he has "a friend who lives in that town." Referring the to town in Illinois that Sufjan specifically refers to, Austin actually knows someone who happens to live in a random boring midwestern Illinois town that Sufjan happened to write a song about. When asked to comment on how he himself felt about living in the same town as reffered to in the song, he replied, "No, the one in Illinois, not the one in Georgia, the one Sufjan is really talking about. The song is about the town in Illinois." Further research provided 5,098,595,409,843 towns across America also named "Decatur," with a 1-in-4 chance you are living in one right now.
Claire Extraordinaire shared how the song moved her: "It's my favorite song title!" However, a mix-up was brought to light when she came to discover how she had been mislead into a bizarred incident involving mashed fruit and blended families. "It's not a round of Applesauce for your stepmother?," she was heard to have whispered dejectedly.
It's clear where Nicole's special excitement came from, "This is so great! Now I have 0.00003% of the amount of music floating around this office!"
Kate, April and Palmer were unavailable for comment, but were assumed to have not been informed of the event.

Could you place your belongings in this box

2005-06-22T08:48:00.000-05:00

April,

You're fired.

Ass

2005-06-21T19:59:00.000-05:00

I drove Tim to the airport, and he missed his flight by one minute. That blows.

P-What in da house

2005-06-21T15:25:00.000-05:00

Wassup Bitchaz,

As yo' chief custoda-dee-da-la enginees, I beez takin' worrk seerious. Kriss-cross my cribs swifferin' and dustin' and shit, yo ass bound to get capped, sucka.

Sincerely,

L. Palmer Houchins

How Very Appropriate

2005-06-21T15:09:00.000-05:00

Palmer is on trash duty this week. And every week.

Throw yo hands in the air.

2005-06-21T14:00:00.000-05:00

Test, test....this is DJ Aus-10 reporting for duty. Expect seven kinds of nastiness in my next post. And by that, I mean awesomepostinglikecrazy.com!

Tight Pockets, Tight Quarters

2005-06-21T13:16:00.000-05:00

I think that if we're being honest with ourselves, cuss words are obviously the MVPs of the American lexicon. They are so efficient! Let's take the word "fuck" for instance. It really gets it done. It can mean "I've just screwed up!" or "to copulate" or "a stupid douchbag" or add "it" to the end and it means "fuhgettaboutit!", not to mention all the different compound words you can make with it.

I'm just saying, you get a lot of bang for your buck with cuss words. They're very useful. Only pretentious, wordy fucks don't use cuss words.

The Unicorn of Blogs is Born

2005-06-21T12:29:00.000-05:00

Day 30

And the past month has led to this. We, the Interns of [a media outlet], create this blog in the name of freedom, justice and rock and roll. This summer, this small office has been infiltrated by six new interns. Here, from the depths of the Dirty South, we will bring you the hottest content out there, such as: what we get in the mail, dance parties and maybe an audio post or two just for the heck of it. And look out for engaging new content as soon as we learn how to use this newfangled thing!