When Couch Potinterns attack! Featuring the un-glamorous un-derbelly of the lives of 6 un-interns. Oh, and porn. Lots and lots of porn.

Friday, July 29

SUPeR FuN BIrTHdAY EXpOLsIoN EXtRAvAGANzA FOr CLAIRE!!!!!!!111111!!!!!!!1111111!!!!!!!

Whoa. Yesterday was HOT.

Let's start with the work day: It was a quite day, just like any other. The sun beat down, the people on the phone were lunatics and the blogs were buzzing. but Oh! It was not as ordinary as it seemed. It became a day to go down in intern history once the party began. Steve choose it as the day to debut his state-of-the-art snow cone creator. Yes, the Lushies were rum-drenched in honor of a certain birthday girl [and Nate next week!]. Bottoms up at 12:14! Now that's what I call an office party.

More to come, can we expect some photo documentation???

Tuesday, July 26

Google fight is so June.

Hello, AIM Fight

Internamazing!!!!!!!1111111

--Our new logo--

Monday, July 25

Salsanator.com

April has funny friends

OR

How we should all start eating salsa:

1. Pour salsa directly from jar into mouth, skipping tortilla chips.
2. Insert chips into mouth after letting the salsa sit for a second. This creates what we like to call "proper effect."
3. Chew all items in mouth until sufficiently mashed together.
4. Bring into gullet and from gullet, force through other pipes and tubes.
5. Eventually drop into stomach.
6. Disperse salsa into bloodstream via liver.
7. Avoid thinking about how you got salsa from stomach to liver.
8. From bloodstream, deliver salsa to key body nodes, including ankles, hips, big-bad-booty, biceps, and especially brain.
9. Regulate the flow of salsa to the brain carefully so as not to transform into Salsanto the Annihilator, the natural state of someone who has suffered Salsa-Berzerker Rage. Nature's way of saying "whoa."
10. Realize that you need more salsa.
11. Repeat.

Friday, July 22

!attention!

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
July 22, 2005

Paste Magazine Marketing Department Announces D2D Day:
New Peer-to-Peer Music Sharing Will Begin On Monday July 25, 2005

Decatur, GA– The Marketing Department of Paste Magazine is pleased to announce the start of Desk-to-Desk (D2D) Day, a new type of peer-to-peer sharing that involves real personal interaction, as opposed to the digital alternative. Each Monday, all staff members and interns are invited to bring in a CD to share with others. CDs of all generations and genres will be passed from one desk to another and shared throughout the day.

“Good, I like CDs,” commented an intern. “You can’t use mp3 files like you can use CDs. I mean, I can listen to them, rip them, throw them on buildings, even use them as coasters! Might I recommend the latest Hootie and the Blowfish album? It makes a nice addition to any bar set!”

The idea for D2D Day arose from late night trip from the Bonnaroo Music & Arts Festival. After sharing their “Most Influential Albums” of high school and college, members of the Paste editorial and marketing teams found that they shared few influences. A few weeks later, the need for D2D Day was confirmed, when one Paste staff member was told that Weezer’s 2002 hit, “Hashpipe,” was “ancient.”

“It was very traumatizing,” she said. “I realized there was an entire generation of people who didn’t know ‘Buddy Holly’ was a Weezer song! And if The Green Album is ancient, that means that I’m ancient! I’m only 21!”

The necessity worsened when an intern was questioned about her classic rock music selections. Though she was not alive during the days of Led Zeppelin, she commented, “I don’t know, when I listen to it, I feel home.”

D2D Day will kick off on Monday July 25, 2005. The opening day theme will be “Gems of the Early 90s.” Employees and interns are encouraged to break out their parachute pants, Bedazzled vests, slap-bracelets, and bobos when making their CD selections.

####

If you would like to be included in the D2D Day program, please email Caren Kelleher at Caren@pastemagazine.com.

Thursday, July 21

some supplemental links

cHoMp iNc. (the inventors of pet candy)
chomp (a definition)
Chomp.com (all the best resources on the net)
Urban Dictionary/chomp (another defintion...dirtier, though)
ChompChomp.com (Grammar Bytes!)
Chomp.org (Community Hospital of the Monterey Peninsula...I'm not making this up)
Chomp! (Chomp & the Temple of Puzzles)
CHomP (Computational Homology Program...again, impossible to make up)
Dictionary.com/chomp (one last definition)

At the height of summer, the interns can be heard calling to each other, signaling the need to find ice cream. Most active in the afternoon, they are easily riled, though the cacaphony emerging from their roost belies their sedentary nature.

CHOMP. CHOMP. CHOMP. CHOMP.
TICKY TICKY DE MONG A NONG.
CHOMP. CHOMP. CHOMP. CHOMP.

Fuck yeah. The thing I hate most about Athens is the hipster scene. Read about the decline of the hipster here:

LA Times

Wednesday, July 20

Arkansas

Could the "Lord God" Bird be the "Long Gone" Bird?
I should be fired for that quip. I'm serious.

Oh yes, I just found this:

Trailer Crashers?

Sunday, July 17

WTF?!?

Was anyone else at the Weezer concert last night? Mother of god, I have never come away from a concert valuing my personal space more. After attempting to get a little closer to the stage [I couldn't even see it once during the whole ordeal] we were moshed against our consent and sweated/beered upon by big burly men. Then it rained big humid rain on us. GROSS. So we left during the Sweater Song, pulling the thread as we walked away . . . ..
I can't wait to do it again next Saturday!

Thursday, July 14

Pedro

Just wanted to be the first aboard the Paste train, wait, what the hell is a Paste train. Anyway, Pedro the Lion has a new acoustic demo up. See here:

www.pedrothelion.com

And, um, yes, he manages to use the word "vagina" in the first twenty seconds or so. Also, he manages to completely rip off "Barbara H" by Fountains of Wayne, Sufjan Stevens and "Sounds of Silence" throughout the rest.

Wednesday, July 13

test

Why won't the blog work?

Totally Partisan

Next week, Congress will vote on the Patriot Act--specifically, on making parts of the law set to expire permenant. I feel very strongly about this issue, and would urge you to find out how the Patriot Act threatens our civil liberties. Visit aclu.org to find out more and to get information on how to contact your congressman/men about this issue.

St. Augustine Speaks!

This just in! St. Augustine Bear makes a public response to the recent verbal threats made against our furry friends by militant carnivores.

Monday, July 11

horrible thoughts

ListenToTheFall: Mugison is kraZy!!!111
frogfacedotcom: isn't it rad?
ListenToTheFall: yessir
ListenToTheFall: i'm going to start telling people that i'm "sad as a truck"
ListenToTheFall: thanks, Mugison!
frogfacedotcom: it's like the bastard love child of a menage a trois between Damien Rice, Prince and Rammstein.
frogfacedotcom: or something
ListenToTheFall: Mu... Mugi... Mugison
ListenToTheFall: yeah
ListenToTheFall: and now i'm picturing some nasty action involving those three artists
ListenToTheFall: thanks a lot
frogfacedotcom: not a pretty sight, lots of purple faux-leather
ListenToTheFall: yeah, and i don't know if you've ever seen footage of Rammstein live, but there are bows shooting flaming arrows
ListenToTheFall: so that figures in somehow
frogfacedotcom: holy crap
frogfacedotcom: flaming dildos...of DOOOOM!!!!!
ListenToTheFall: hahahahaha
frogfacedotcom: get Claire to illustrate that for this next issue
frogfacedotcom: or just post it on the intern blog
ListenToTheFall: consider it done

Sunday, July 10

Endangered Meat

Endangered Meat

(You must watch the commercial!)

Friday, July 8

i am trying to break your heart

12:40 AM
PALMER!
claire!
AUSTIN SAID YOU'RE HIS SLUT
not really
rjkkvmhjjn dic fb
hthgtYEESSS~!!!21123brdbghjkvbi
how was eddies attic
he's my bitch - get it straight
it was pretty cool
did you guys dinosaur juniorize?
um
no
there was a big wall made of beer and spinal tap blocking our passage to little 5 points
rjhghjhnhn
'YES!!223r45we#&%
so we tried to dig a hole to little 5 points instead of digging a hole to china
but we didnt reach either place
sefv2525tfftgtrwtshbrg
NO!!!!!!!2334566u78u7tyhy
Ex
THOUGHT BUBBLE
dude, you guys drunk typing is amazzing
we're not drunk how dar4e you
ndghn gjv
so that wall of beer drank itself
no it didnt, thats why we couldnt get to dinousar jr
it is intact
12:45 AM
big wall like the great wall of china that we didnt dig to
hahaha, ok, i understand, so really you are just oppressed
by the great wall of miller lite
SLASH BUD HEAVY JK
thatsa quote from jason killingsworth
drgvedthglj
FUNNY!!!!12213234R53J
dont be afraid
12:50 AM
dseddfsfcfgfTALKcdsrftgyhh!!!!!1q2w133456
WAKE UP PALMER
o delicate palmer
in the suburbs
whats in it for palmer?
htyhnhtj"
L?

This is fun for about 30 seconds.

Prison Bitch!

Thanks, April.

Friday, July 1

This just in...

Reading blogs is the new heroin.